WHAT'S WRONG?!!

I lost a friend a few days ago and I'm not quite sure how to get over it. It's all a blur and memories of growing up together and hanging out came flooding into my mind. This is so hard. Denial was my first feeling. I tried to prove it wrong. Tried to call his cell, tried to talk to him and it didn't work. Nothing is what I got on the other end. Knowing the truth is hard but knowing the reason why is harder. Demons creep into people and they don't leave. Sometimes we can't face the blame. Facing that would mean admitting that we have a problem! DAMNIT WHY DIDN'T YOU ASK FOR HELP! I WOULD'VE BEEN THERE!! I WOULD HAVE!! Why did you have to go why? I'm not okay. I'm not. I cried for two whole days about you and I thought I would wake up and it would be a dream. Hiding your problems wont help you in life. Talk to someone if you are depressed you hurt more people than just yourself. Even if you think the world has given up on you. There are always people that love and care about you somewhere. Reaching out a hand doesn't hurt either. If you see someone that is depressed ask them what is the matter. You never know if that will be the last time you talk to them or not. Drugs not the answer either. Turning the light out doesn't make it better. Your family is lost without you Alan! You didn't realize the love you had. Drugs didn't make it better didn't make your pain go away instead they made you give up and pheen for them. Made you think they were all you had. When really they made you disappear body and soul. YOU ARE GONE AND I'M PISSED OFF AND CONFUSED! I can't stand the fact that you arn't around anymore. I remember so many things about you before the demons. I remember ghost hunting with you and Nicole. We had so much fun. That was one of the best summers of my life. You were so crazy you didn't care you would bust into those homes with no fear of anything. Nicole and I were always happy you were there to protect us lol. I'll never forget you and your diet pepsi. I'll never look at it the same again. You used to make me walk to the store at night time just to get one. The time we spent talking on the computer will always be on my mind as well. Esp. the time I was at your house and you cooked enchiladas and I dropped my plate by falling down your basement steps. Your parents laughed so hard. Your 70's Basement. You couldn't find that anywhere. Though I hated you diarea carpet I'll miss it now. It was your favorite spot to hang out. Life is short but I never thought it would be this short for you. We are only two months apart. Your 24!! It's heartbreaking. It took my breath away when I seen your obit. Most of all it upset me to know that when I come home there is nowhere to go to say goodbye to you. Cremation was the way you went though I'm sure if you had the money you would've been burried so that you could haunt the graveyard for life. You always loved the thought of stalking and scaring people. So I'm saying goodbye here because I have to. I have to get it out! Hurt is what I am right now. You had an iq of a genius you couldve been anything. You were amazing on computers. I'm sorry I stopped talking to you. I feel horrible that I turned away when you told me you were on drugs. You were hooked and I told you I wouldn't be friends with someone who did them ever! That never made you stop and now I'm going to think about it forever. I should've forgave you. I don't know what happened but I'm going to miss you forever. Here's some features from the lovely










"Hear Me Now"-Framing Hanley

Well, I swear to God we've been down this road before
The guilt's no good, and it only shames us more
And the truths that we all try to hide,
Are so much clearer when its not our lives
When we don't face the blame

Won't you (get on your knees)
*Have faith*
Believe
In this lie with us all.

Now my body's on the floor and I am calling,
Well I'm calling out to you,
Can you hear me now?

It's not rebellion when you're selling out to an
Out of fashion salesman
Our promising lives, are full of empty promises
Temptations falling and calling you home again
well I'm sorry, if we've let you down

Won't you (get on your knees)
*Have faith*
Believe
In this lie with us all.

Now my body's on the floor and I am calling,
Well I'm calling Out to you
Can you hear me now?
Now my body's on the floor and I am crawling,
I'm crawling out to you
Can you feel me now?

What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong?
What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong?
What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong?
What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong?

Now my body's on the floor and I am calling,
Well I'm calling out to you

Now my body's on the floor and I am calling
Now my body's on the floor and I am calling
Now my body's on the floor and I am calling
Well I'm calling out to you.
To you.