It's a new day!!

Well I don't want to talk about my last journal and I know it's been a while since I could write and post it. That message needed to stay here for me and I needed to see it everyday. I was really down and out over Alan's death and that's all I could think about for a while. I'm back to myself now and I'll always miss him but its time to move on and realize he is in a better place. :0) So here I am again. I wanted to say my sister is coming next week and im so thrilled. I'm very excited to see her. It's been over a year and I really need some girl time. I can't believe she turned 17 two months ago. I really am shocked at when I think about how time flies. I mean it seems like yeasturday she was 11 and now shes 17. Literally all I can say it wow! She can be a little brat still though so she has not really lost that quality. Haha. Don't tell her I said that hehe. Jk she knows. We are going to have a full week of fun fun fun and I wont have to work all day every day. I'm sick of it. I need some time to myself. It's hard esp when you do have time to yourself there is noone you can spend it with. My b/f tries but hes an ex. chef and when you date someone with that title you have to date his work too. It's life I guess. I hope one day it will settle down and we can have time to ourselves. The problem with that is not making enough money in a small town. But it does not look like we are going anywhere for that matter. At least not anytime soon. Wish me luck because its been 4 years with Mitch and I'm hoping by my 5th year he will ask me the big question. I try not to force him into letting me know when or if he feels that way but come on by 5 years you should know wheather u want to spend the rest of your life with that person or not. I hope it happens. I'm 24 but im ready to settle down and make my life complete. Im starting to live like I want to. I'm finding myself a little big more everyday. I used to be that depressed teenager that hated her life and never enjoyed living but now I do and I enjoy who I am and am proud of who I've become inside. I'm passionate, sensitive, caring, giving, honest, a great listener, my personality has done a complete 360 turnaround, I'm more outgoing, and loving. I love being me now. In order to love you have to love yourself. Sure I go through spurts where I'm like why am I this why don't i do this and that and this and that. But who doesn't sit back and take a look at things like their image, their life, what's wrong, the normal things people do sometimes. Beyond that I'm holding up okay. Oh ive enjoyed doing features on the news for DA. It's a lot of fun and I really am looking forward to do more and having everyone tell me what they think. I try to do something different everytime. Last but not least HAPPY 9TH BIRTHDAY DA! I'm so happy to be part of this community. Here's to many more years of creativity and amazing artist!

Features by the lovely artists
















"FireFly"- Breaking Benjamin

You my friend
You're a lot like them
But I caught your lie
And you know I did
Now I'm lost in you
Like I always do
And I'd die to win
'Cause I'm born to lose

[Chorus:]
Firefly
Could you shine your light
Now I know your ways
'Cause they're just like mine
Now I'm justified
As I fall in line
And it's hard to try
When you're open wide


Take my hand
We'll be off and then
We'll come back again
To a different land
Now I like this way
You could go away
If you guess the name
You could not replace

[Chorus:]
Firefly
Could you shine your light
Now I know your ways
'Cause they're just like mine
Now I'm justified
As I fall in line
And it's hard to try
When you're open wide

Bring me your enemies
Lay them before me and
Walk away
Walk away!
WALK AWAY!!!


[Chorus:]
Firefly
Could you shine your light
Now I know your ways
'Cause they're just like mine
Now I'm justified
As I fall in line
And it's hard to try
When you're open wide

Fuck You Firefly
Have you lost your light?
Now I hate your ways
'Cause they're just like mine
So you lost my friend
Such a sorry end
And I don't know why
So I joke and smile

SMILE!